If you had asked me 5 years ago if I was going to home school my children I would have said no and not thought about it again. For that matter if you had asked me if I was going to be a stay at home mom I would have also said no. Not because I think it is wrong to stay at home or to home school, just because I had never thought about it. My mom always worked and we went to public school. That is just how it was, so that's what I knew. The funny thing is Micah had completely opposite answers for those questions. If you asked him if his wife was going to stay home and home school the kids he would have said yes without another thought. That is how he was brought up. So when we were dating and started talking about the future we decided that wherever God had us when we had kids would make our decision on me staying home and if our kids would be home schooled.
Well, life right now has us in a situation where I can stay with the girls and Abby is needing to start kindergarten. She actually should have started in August but with her birth year mix up (a blog on that coming soon) we are a little behind. So my plan is to get her caught up and finished with Kindergarten by Christmas. Being new to home schooling I have been looking at different curriculum companies and trying to decide if I was just going to figure something out myself or invest in actual books. The books I like the looks of are called Horizons.
The draw back is that it is $230. That is not bad as far as workbooks go but still more than our budget allows. So, I was wondering if anyone would like to help sponsor some of this cost. It would be a huge help to me as a mother of three and I would be able to reuse it for all three girls as well as any new BYKOTA kids that need kindergarten. I am also open to suggestions and advice! I won't claim to know everything so please! Any advice you can give is greatly appreciated!
Abby has been on a kick lately of using the phrase "and next?" or "then what are we gonna do after...." IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! Some times at lunch even before we eat she will be asking what is for dinner. Or as soon as she wakes up in the morning she is wanting to know what we are going to be doing after nap time. My answer is almost always, "don't worry about it, worry about what is happening right now."
The lesson that I am trying to teach my daughter is one I need to learn myself! It is one that God has been teaching me ever since we decided to come to Cambodia. Even before we got here we were trying to plan what we would do after our nine months. Well, God laughed at that and brought two beautiful brown game changers into our lives and nine months turned into an unknown amount of time.
Then this year has been a huge season of living one step at a time trusting in God's faithfulness. In April we began paperwork for foster care and had to wait for laws to open up, then in June we got our papers turned in and had to wait for approval, then in August we got approved and had to wait for travel permissions, then we had to wait for passports, then for visas... the whole time we didn't know what the next step would hold. At any time our plans could come to a stop with just one thing not being approved. Even though the whole process only took 7 months (way shorter than most) it was a lot of sitting and waiting. We knew the plans we wanted, we knew we wanted to visit family for the Holidays but we were unable to plan until everything had gone through. I felt like Abby, always saying "and then what?" But God only gave us one step at a time.
This is how life is! If we could plan our whole lives we would never live! We would always be looking forward to the next thing and forgetting what is now! I find myself looking forward to November 12th. I am so so so excited to go to America and see my family that I keep thinking "Ugh! this week is dragging by!" Instead I should be enjoying each day. I should be living in the moment. I should be getting excited that Melody has learned to zerbert and is very very close to her first tooth. I should be taking the time to play with Abby and Lily rather than spending time worrying about how they will be on the plane.
I am horrible at sticker charts!!! Especially here in Cambodia where nothing stays on the wall without a screw.
Ever since Melody was born Lily's potty training has slowly digressed. She was completely in underwear (even at night) for two months before Mel was born but afterwards it just got worse and worse. I kept thinking surely she's gonna snap out of it, she can't be wet the bed and have accidents forever! But the closer she gets to four years old the more I'm wondering if it's ever gonna happen. We tried sticker charts but like I said before, I am horrible at them. They wouldn't stay on the wall, I would forget to give her her sticker, I forgot to print a new one.... the list goes on.
Recently I noticed some Frozen night gowns at the market and an idea struck me! Having a tangible reward for staying dry might just do the trick! So I bought one for both girls. When I got home I needed a way to display them as a reminder and also needed a way for them to earn them (since sticker charts are a no go). So I tied a string up with several knots down it to create loops and hung the gowns on hangers in the first loop.
Now every time Lily stays dry all night all we have to do is move her gown down one loop. When it gets to the bottom it is hers! I didn't want to leave Abby out so we decided that every time she sleeps during nap time (something she has always struggled with) she could move her gown down.
Believe it or not Abby has slept 4 days in a row and Lily has been dry 3!
Another reason I like this system so much is because the girls are able to earn the things they want through out the year. A down side to having birthdays and Christmas fall just a month apart is no presents the rest of the year! With this reward system they still get new things but have a reason for getting them. :)
Here are their dresses. You can really see the stings because they blend in to the curtains.
Sometimes I feel like we push things on other people saying they are more qualified for the job. In reality it isn't because they are more qualified, it is because we just don't want to do it.
It has been so frustrating trying to get anything legal done in this country. Starting with Melody's birth certificate and passport. We went on rabbit trail after rabbit trail trying to figure out what paperwork we needed and where or how to get it. Every time we asked someone they would send is to ask another person who would send us somewhere else who would give us the wrong paper and we would start all over again.
Now in trying to get paperwork to file for foster care of Abby and Lily it has proved to be the same thing. We need a background check. They tell us maybe at the embassy, so we email them and they forward it to another office...no answer. So at the embassy getting another paper done, we ask how to get a background check done. "Oh, we don't do that here. Go to the FBI website." Okay! An answer! Then we go to the website... It says to go to the embassy! Erg! This is how it has been! Every time! We did in the end get it all figured out but geeze!!! I feel like it should be easier. For something so official, they don't seem to have their act together.
It makes me think of my life. How many times has someone asked me for help and I just pointed them somewhere else? How many times has Abby came to ask me for something and I said "I'm busy, go ask your dad." A lot. I bet almost all of those times, had I just pause for a moment, I would have been able to help instead of pushing it off on someone else.
You know the saying "You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl?" Well, it is so true! I will always be a country girl at heart. My brother and I grew up playing in the creek behind our house, riding four wheelers, fishing, hunting, and enjoying the beautifulness that is country living.
Being back there in the peaceful country was so refreshing. My dad and I went mushroom hunting one day. (We found one tiny mushroom) All I could think about was bringing my girls back there. I can't wait to take them mushroom hunting, to show them the best places to play in the creek, and to teach them to just sit in the quietness and listen. There is a valuable lesson in learning to take in God's creation... The smells, the sounds, the sights, and even the taste!
Later we got out the 22s and did some target shooting, I beat dad 5-2! Then I was thinking of how I wanted my girls to be tough. I don't mean "beat you up" tough but the "I can take care of myself and not be afraid of everything" tough. Here in Cambodia they don't have a chance to get out and explore, to learn that life isn't scary, to fall down and learn to wipe off the mud and keep going. In this city of concrete all they have to play with are toys... Growing up I had so much more than just toys. I had a backyard, trees to climb, the timber to explore, and a creek to play in. I want that for my girls.
My word while I was back in the states was bittersweet. I loved being back home, I loved how clean everything was, I loved the comforts that I had forgotten about. But at the same time, I missed my family. I wanted them there with me. I like being in Cambodia, I like being in God's will but that doesn't mean it is easy. It is definitely not easy to be so far from home, so far from family. There were sometimes while I was back that I thought "wow! I have been gone so long!" And other times that it felt like I hadn't ever left. In the end it left me more hopeful and more prayerful. I just keep hoping and praying for the day God sends us back home. Even just for a little while.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
I have never been too much of a worrier but I also don't think it is coincidence that I find myself singing Bob Marley and quoting Philippians 4:6-7 all the time. Whenever I start to get anxious about a situation I just pray about it and find that peace that surpasses my understanding. There have been several times in my life when I am worried about something or overwhelmed and God has showed me that peace.
I have found myself worrying quite a bit lately and unable to find peace. I have let people get in my head instead of God. People that say I should be worried. People that judge me for not being worried. People that are worried for me. I have let them get to me. I am done!
Sure I have a lot to worry about. Melody was born a month early. I live in Cambodia where dirt and germs are everywhere. I was sent home after 3 days in the hospital to take care of my baby that would probably still be in the hospital in America. Melody is almost 4 weeks old and is still not gaining weight. Strep throat is present at BYKOTA house. I have to feed Melody breast milk and formula every two hours. I could keep going if I let myself!
With my lack of sleep it is very easy to find myself thinking about these things. Thinking that I wish I was in America and that I could just lock Melody and I in a germ free room and never leave.
Starting now though I choose, instead of worrying and "stewing" as my grandpa would say, to pray. I choose to believe that "every little thing is gonna be alright." God has everything under control. There is nothing I can do to make Melody gain weight or to keep her from getting sick. It is all in God's hands and I trust Him. I trust that He will take care of my baby just like He takes care of everything else in the entire world. My God, who created the world, who made me, who made Melody, who heals people every second, can take care of us. All I have to do is trust him and let my request be made know to Him.
Please join me in praying for Melody. As of right now she only weighs 4.8 pounds and hasn't gained any substantial weight since she was born. Everything else is fine. Her color is good, her muscle tone is good, she is more and more alert every day and she is eating better every day. For some reason, though, she is just not gaining weight. We go back to the doctor on Wednesday. Please pray that she has gained weight by then. Also, with the threat of strep throat going around, please pray for protection for my family. Melody is too small to fight off sickness and with preschoolers in the house germs are just not easily contained.
Thank you for your support and prayers for my family. I can't tell you how much it means to us.
In America we have several things that we do to get ready for a baby. We have a baby shower (or two, or three), we decorate the baby room and gather tons and tons of supplies that we"need," we choose a name, we have a gender reveal party, and attend child birth and parenting classes. During child birth we get to choose who we want in the room with us, what we want in the room with us (tv, music, candles), and we get to decide on just about everything from medication to birthing postition. After birth we stay in the hospital a few days (depending on baby and mothers health) and have many visitors. After we go home from the hospital, aside from a few more visitors and dinners made for us, we are on our own. We enjoy our new addition and in a few days we are ready to step back into society (church, Wal-Mart, family events).
Being in a place of so many different cultures I have found that there are some very different and strange traditions that go with child birth around the world. Such as one friend that came to see us said that in China it is custom after child birth to drink a certain type of wine. I read another blog about different traditons, in one country new mothers are given a box of baby things and a matress in the bottom when they give birth, often times the baby sleeps in the box for the first few months.
Cambodia like everywhere else has it's own tradtions and beliefs. One is that after birth they light a fire under the mother... I have yet to figure out why but I am very very glad I am not Cambodian! Another I learned the day we got home from the hospital. Since Melody was such a surprise to us I didn't have anything at the hospital except the date night clothes I had packed for our get away. I wasn't sure what I had clean at home so I just asked Micah to grab me some gym shorts and a tank top. Apparently that was not the right attire. When we got home the lady across the street was very adament that I needed to have long sleeve and pants on. The next day, our tuk tuk driver said the same thing and also added gloves, socks, and a fuzzy hat. When I asked why, he said it was so I didn't get cold.... Um, hello! It is 90 degrees! I am hot!!!! My doctor said that Khmer women wear winter clothes for several weeks after birth... crazy people. :P A few days later I was at the store with my mom. The clerk asked how old Melody was (10 days at the time). She was so impressed that I was out and about. She said that khmer women don't get out of bed for almost a month after birth. Also, they are very scared of new babies. She told us that she didn't hold her son much until he was about 3 months because she was afraid to drop him. Also on this line we recently got a new baby at BYKOTA house. The staff begged us to keep her at the Benz's house until she was 3 months because they were afraid of her. When it comes to naming a baby it is Budhist culture that the parents take the baby to the local pagoda and a monk tells them what the baby should be named.
I am curious. What are your baby traditions? Does your family do something special when a baby comes?
